How to Deal With a Teacher You Don't Get Along With

TL;DR

Stay professional, focus on what you can control, communicate respectfully, document issues if they're serious, and involve parents/counselors only after you've tried handling it yourself. Most teacher-student friction is fixable with better communication and realistic expectations. You don't have to like your teacher — you just have to pass the class.

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The Reality of Teacher-Student Friction

Not every teacher is going to be your favorite person. Just like you don't get along with every student in your school, you're not going to click with every teacher. That's normal.

But there's a big difference between "this teacher isn't my style" and "this teacher is genuinely making my life difficult." Let's figure out which situation you're in and what to do about it.

Here's the hard truth upfront: in most cases, YOU need to adapt more than the teacher will. I know that's not what you want to hear. But teachers have 100-150+ students, and they're not going to change their teaching style for one person. Learning to work with people you don't naturally click with is a life skill that'll serve you far beyond school.

That said, if something genuinely unfair or inappropriate is happening, you have every right to address it. Let's talk about both situations.

First: Identify the Actual Problem

Before you decide what to do, figure out what's actually going on. Be brutally honest with yourself.

"I Don't Like Their Teaching Style"

• They lecture when you prefer hands-on learning
• They go too fast or too slow
• Their explanations don't make sense to you
• They're boring (sorry, but this is real)

This is a YOU problem. Not in a mean way — it just means the solution is adapting how YOU learn, not trying to change the teacher.

"I Feel Like They Don't Like Me"

• They seem cold or dismissive toward you
• They don't call on you
• You feel ignored in class
• Their feedback on your work feels harsh

This might be perception. Teachers are often overwhelmed and stressed, and what feels personal might not be. But it could also be real, and that's worth addressing.

"Their Grading Seems Unfair"

• You got a lower grade than you expected
• The rubric is unclear
• Other students seem to get better grades for similar work
• They don't explain why you lost points

This is worth addressing directly with the teacher. Specific, evidence-based conversations about grades usually go well.

"They're Actually Being Inappropriate"

• They single you out, yell at you, or humiliate you in class
• They make comments about your appearance, background, or personal life
• They refuse to provide documented accommodations
• They show clear favoritism or bias

This requires escalation. This goes beyond normal friction and you should involve parents, counselors, or administrators.

Strategy 1: Adjust Your Mindset

I know this sounds like generic advice, but bear with me.

Separate the Teacher From the Subject

You might love English but hate your English teacher. Don't let one bad teacher ruin an entire subject for you. The class is temporary — your relationship with the subject doesn't have to be.

Remember: You Don't Have to Like Them

You need to respect them (and they should respect you), but you don't need to be best friends. Your goal is to learn the material and get a good grade. That's it.

Think of It as Practice

In college, at jobs, in life — you will constantly work with people whose style clashes with yours. Bosses, professors, coworkers. Learning to navigate this now is genuinely valuable.

Consider Their Perspective

Teachers are overworked, underpaid, dealing with 150 students, administrative pressure, and probably their own personal stuff. That doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it provides context for why they might seem short-tempered or distracted.

Strategy 2: Be Strategically Professional

Here's the cheat code: teachers are human, and humans respond to respect and effort. You can completely change a teacher's perception of you through your behavior.

In Class

• Sit near the front. This shows engagement and keeps you focused.
• Put your phone away without being told. Phones are the #1 thing that irritates teachers.
• Participate. Even one comment per class signals that you care.
• Body language matters. Sit up, make eye contact, nod when they're explaining. Don't roll your eyes or look bored (even if you are).
• Don't talk when they're talking. This seems basic, but it's the most common complaint teachers have.

With Assignments

• Turn work in on time. Late work sends the message that you don't value their class.
• Follow directions exactly. Read the rubric carefully. If they want 12pt Times New Roman, don't turn it in at 11pt Arial.
• Put in visible effort. Even if the work isn't perfect, effort is obvious and teachers notice it.

Communication

• Use their name correctly. It's "Mr. Johnson," not "yo."
• Be polite in emails. Start with "Dear Mr./Ms. [Name]," end with a thank you.
• Ask questions during appropriate times. Raise your hand, go to office hours, email during reasonable hours.

Will this guarantee they'll suddenly love you? No. But it removes any ammunition they have for criticizing your behavior, and it often softens the relationship significantly.

Strategy 3: Have a Direct Conversation

If the issue is real and ongoing, talking to the teacher directly is usually the right first step.

How to Approach It

Timing matters. Don't try to have this conversation:

• In front of other students
• Right after something frustrating just happened
• When they're rushing between classes

Good times:

• Before or after school
• During office hours
• After class when no one else is around
• By email (gives you time to think about your words)

What to Say

Use "I" statements, not "you" accusations:

❌ "You never explain things clearly" ✅ "I'm having trouble understanding the material. Could I come to office hours for extra help?"

❌ "You grade me unfairly" ✅ "I'd like to understand how I can improve on this assignment. Can you walk me through where I lost points?"

❌ "You don't like me" ✅ "I want to do well in this class and I'd appreciate any feedback on how I can improve."

Sample Scripts

For unclear grading: "Hi Mr./Ms. [Name], I was hoping you could help me understand my grade on [assignment]. I want to improve, and I'd love to know what I should focus on for the next one."

For feeling ignored: "Hi Mr./Ms. [Name], I've been working hard in class and I want to make sure I'm on the right track. Could I schedule a time to check in with you about my progress?"

For teaching style issues: "I'm struggling to understand [topic]. Do you have any recommendations for extra resources or a different way I could study this?"

Notice what these all have in common: they focus on YOUR learning, not their behavior. That's strategic.

Strategy 4: Supplement Their Teaching

If your teacher's explanations don't click with you, find other sources for the same material.

Alternative Learning Resources

• Gradily — Get step-by-step help on assignments in any subject
• Khan Academy — Free video lessons on almost everything
• YouTube — The Organic Chemistry Tutor, Crash Course, Professor Leonard
• Study groups — Other students might explain things differently
• Textbook — Sometimes reading the chapter is clearer than the lecture

The point is: you're not dependent on one person to learn. If Teacher X's explanation of photosynthesis makes zero sense, find one that does. The material is the same — you just need a different delivery.

Strategy 5: Document When Necessary

If the issue goes beyond style differences and into genuinely unfair or inappropriate territory, start documenting.

What to Document

• Date and time of each incident
• What happened (specific words, actions)
• Who was present (witnesses)
• Your response (what you said or did)
• Any evidence (emails, graded papers, screenshots)

Why Documentation Matters

If you eventually need to involve a counselor, parent, or administrator, "they're mean to me" is much weaker than "On October 3rd, they told me in front of the whole class that my paper was 'a waste of their time.' On October 10th, they refused to let me turn in a late assignment despite giving extensions to two other students for the same assignment."

Specific = credible. Vague = dismissible.

Strategy 6: When to Involve Others

Involving Your Parents

Consider bringing in your parents when:

• You've tried talking to the teacher yourself and nothing changed
• The issue is affecting your grades despite your best effort
• Something inappropriate is happening
• You need an advocate for accommodations (IEP, 504 plan)

Tip: Talk to your parents first and ask them to communicate calmly and professionally. A parent who storms into school angrily usually makes things worse. A parent who calmly requests a meeting to discuss concerns gets results.

Involving Your School Counselor

Your counselor can:

• Mediate between you and the teacher
• Check in with the teacher about your concerns
• Arrange a class transfer if the situation is bad enough
• Connect you with support services
• Document the issue officially

Involving Administration

This is the escalation step for serious issues:

• Discrimination or bias
• Verbal abuse or humiliation
• Refusing documented accommodations
• Consistently unfair grading with evidence
• Inappropriate comments or behavior

What NOT to Do

Let's be clear about the approaches that backfire:

Don't Trash-Talk the Teacher

• Not to other students (it gets back to them)
• Not on social media (this can have serious consequences)
• Not to other teachers (awkward for everyone)

Don't Be Passive-Aggressive

• Don't sigh loudly in class
• Don't make sarcastic comments
• Don't deliberately do the bare minimum as "revenge"
• Don't try to "prove them wrong"

Don't Disengage

• The worst thing you can do is stop trying
• A bad teacher doesn't justify bad grades
• You're only hurting yourself

Don't Expect Perfection

• Teachers have bad days too
• One harsh comment doesn't mean they hate you
• Pick your battles — not every annoyance needs to be addressed

The Long Game

Here's the perspective that gets lost in the moment: this is one class, for one semester or year, in your entire life.

A difficult teacher feels enormous right now. But in two years, you probably won't even remember their name. What you WILL remember is whether you learned to handle difficult people with maturity — and that skill is genuinely priceless.

Some of my best growth came from teachers I didn't get along with, because they forced me to develop self-advocacy, resilience, and independence. That doesn't mean bad behavior is okay — it means there's value in the struggle.

How Gradily Can Help

When your teacher's explanations don't work for you, Gradily fills the gap:

• Step-by-step homework help that explains things differently
• Available 24/7 — no office hours needed
• Patient and non-judgmental — ask the same question five times if you need to
• All subjects — whatever class is giving you trouble

You deserve to understand the material, even if your teacher's style isn't working for you. Gradily makes sure one class doesn't derail your learning.

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Final Thoughts

You will have difficult teachers, difficult bosses, difficult coworkers, and difficult people in every phase of life. The ones who succeed aren't the ones who avoid conflict — they're the ones who handle it with maturity, professionalism, and strategy.

Stay professional. Communicate clearly. Supplement when needed. Escalate when appropriate. And don't let one person with a bad attitude ruin your education.

You're bigger than one bad class. Go prove it.